I am still thinking about the pig farmer interview (see last post) and also happened across an article featuring an intensive lambing operation that added more fuel to my fire. As I fed sheep this morning my mind was deeply immersed in its own conversation and I was feeling a build up of emotions - anger, lack, frustration, sadness. I was furiously forking hay, feeling the turmoil of my inability and seeming lack of power to make a difference. It was only when I felt the cold wetness of the tears freezing on my cheek did I realize I was crying.
Is the fact that my soul is tied up in what I do a deterrent? Do I need to harden myself to some facts? Is intensive farming the successful way to farm? Have I got it all wrong? I am less than the others because I don’t make farming to be all about money, efficiency and a carcass? It burns me to see that they make a living and I struggle.
How did farming become about raising animals in a fast food manner? How is it that these types of farms are the ones being repeatedly acknowledged and supported?
I know I am not alone in this rant but today I felt like it. I feel like I am the only one who sees that we are pulling the wool over our own eyes. We have created our own farm crisis so much so that we need new definitions for farmer and farming.
And yet on each side of the spectrum are people, real humans, life. We each believe in how we farm. My method does not fit their ideal of farming and theirs certainly doesn’t fit mine, and we won’t be reading each others blogs. So what good is my anger or frustration at what they do?